好久没pen心情了。。。

half a yr is almost gone..
reaching 27 soon.. going to feel pensive le..
looking at my life.. thus far..
想回了以前， 22岁疯狂迷恋Jon, 当时他才25岁。就这样，咋们也都老了。。
5年就这样过去了。。
Recently, looking at his forum, realised tat he got engaged. He found someone whom he wana spend the rest of his life with already.. veri happie for him, and of cos, some pain went thru my heart for that sligh moment. My growing up fantasy, the person who've changed the way i think and behave, and more significantly, my faith, is building his own family. The guy i wana form family with that time is really moving on le..
5 years already. Season 3 then, and season 8 just ended..
Time really pass fast. 真的好不留情。。
现在的我，也许，最好的形容词应该是幸福吧。took the leap of faith, and here i am, just having celebrated my first year in this career, and on my way towards achieving MDRT hopefully in my second year, no doubt it's under the table, but stil, it's an achievement to me.
I really really love what i'm doing, eventhou now, i'm lying to myself daily, for having not worked for the past 3/4 of the yr. daily, just mting up with pple, having meal with them, talking to them, listenting to their problems and how I can help them.. makes me feel so blessed. Seeing the light in their eyes when i show them the solution, keeps affirming to me that what i'm doing is correct, and recently, decided firmly to myself, i'll put up my litmus test.. that is, i'll plan according to to what i think is rite, and ultimately, asking myself, if it's me, at that situation will i accept this portfolio, considering it's pro and con.. i guess, that 's the best and 最对得起良心的考验了吧。。
最近，真的没心情做工。in fact, 是从年头到现在都没心情做工。。虽然知道这样下去是不对的，但是始终没有那种feeling让我开始拿起那个电话筒拨电话， 那是不对的。。
i love what i'm doing. I know my job is correct, i know that it'll be a matter of time that i'l be in deep shit if i continue to be so slack. when things comes so effortlessly, one become arrogant, and this is the pharse i'm at now. Remembered clearly, 12 years ago, in Sec 3.. also around this period of time.. was asking Mr Tong how to do a paticular Qn, where I offened him and was badly scolded. Thereafter, in order to prove to him that i can do it, i studied like crazy, and gotten the results i want. I keep feeling tat this is what I will face, someone important to me that I look up to, to shout at me to wake up, that this is a life long career, and not a one, two year thingy, and that I can do it, and to wake up from my comfortable position and to realli realli work my ass off to become the best that I can do.. Instead of now.. 活在半梦半醒之间。。