It is both a happy and sad day today.
Again, for dunno what reason, love kwangsoo so much!
Haha, went to his first fan,ever today... But sadly, failed to do the high five and hug him. I am so sad. But at least, I have seen him. N I am so so so so happie.
He is really someone I just wanna bring home like a pet. So adorable, sweet, humble and cute.
Thank for for giving me a reason to luff daily.
N really hope that he will like the pressie I gave him too.
It is time to focus back on my life. I am glad that I have reached the desired savings I want. Am thinking of doing up myself physically again.
Went to see the dr for the the breast, unfortunately, can't get it reduced.
But as yl said, I have nvr lose weight before. Can I try and slim down, and logically, I will become smaller. So can I do it pls, for myself.
It is aug.. Can I pls reach 55 then?
Can I just reduce my food intake and increase my intake of good food. Can I just eat much lesser, and only eat half of whatever is given to me? Can I just take healthy things?
Doing a med exam for myself- where I am now.
Cont with my yoga- moving towards where I wanna be
Eating lesser and healthier. Saying no to unhealthy food.. Veggie n veggie.
I really wanna become slimmer. Really.. So that I will become more confident. I am alr 31 moving to 32. I feel so scared.. Cos with the idols that I like becoming younger than me, I realized I do not have much yrs left. I wanna grab hold of the remaining yrs of whatsoever little youth I have. And the best way is to take care of myself. ESP now that I have money, but there is no youth and energy. Looking at kjk, being healthy n taking care of oneself is so good.
Can I eat wholemeal daily, and just fruits veggie and fish? Just fruits for dinner?

Cut down on processed food?
I really want to become 48kg when I visit Seoul next year.
Eat at regular hours?

Putting on a mask on the days that I m dng yoga?
I will stop putting heavy makeup and opt for simple one. I dun like the look of myself with heavy makeup. I look so old n intimidating.

After yoga tmr, I shall buy a wholemeal bread and have that for breakfast. With plain water.
Lunch is fish soup
Dinner is fruits
Can I cont on with this for one whole week, and see the effects? Can I stop thinking to myself that I will not have energy?
Can I just preserve on pls?
For kwangsoo, so that I will look completely different next year, n can start buying new clothes. Become like mic.. A totally different person.
Cut off the belly fat. The leg and the arms.
What I feed will grow. Remember this.

看到十三条我也哭了 请仔细看完，

记住，物质，地位，名誉就算失去，还能从头再来，但家人呢……珍惜!
……如果这就是爱……

1。姥爷去世了。妈妈平静地处理完后事，晚上回来她栽倒在床上抽泣道：“女儿，你知道吗，妈妈没有爸爸了……”我顿时心酸至极。
2。出国一年，回来时妈妈已患上老年痴呆，迷迷糊糊，不认人。我走到床边看她时，她竟忽然冲我笑了，说：“你胖了。”

3。今天坐火车，两个老婆婆坐在我身边，其中一个是来送另一个的，两人双手拉在一起不停念叨着。要发车了，一个老婆婆下车，回头说了句话－“姐啊，今年我89岁，你90岁，这是我们这辈子最后一次见面了……”

4。小区里有个小朋友刚出生不久妈妈就去世了，一直都是奶奶带着。有一次小朋友对她奶奶说：“我偷偷叫你一声妈妈可以吗？”

5。家里买了一台大电视，我想放客厅，可老妈想放他们卧室，一直争执不下，最后还是老妈妥协了。很多年过去了，有天老妈发信息：电视放我和你爸卧室其实是想让你能来我们屋看，这样可以多陪陪我们……当即释怀，忍不住大哭。

6。我问老公：“如果是我得了绝症，你会给我治吗？”老公快睡着了，迷迷糊糊说：“别瞎说……倾家荡产也得治！”我说：“如果你得了呢？”老公：“那就不治了。剩下你一个人，挣钱不容易。”

7。那是一次“意外”，我拿老公的手机玩，无意间看到一条短信，那是爸爸去世前和我老公见面没多久后发的－“今天我把我的宝贝交给你了，拜托你一定要好好照顾她，我到天堂都会感激祝福你的。”几年来，一想到这件事不知哭晕多少次。

8。在外第一个春节坐火车回家带了一瓶绿茶，妈妈说：“我从来没有喝过这个东西，真好喝。”

9。爸妈离婚后我跟了老妈。等老爸有了自己另一个家，另一个女儿，我就觉得自己是多余的，即使再难也绝对不给老爸添麻烦。后来有件事还是得要他帮忙，然后事成了，于是发短信给爸爸说谢谢，短信上打出“谢谢”两字时，我心里痛得跟抽筋一样。过了很久，爸才回复我，只有两字：傻瓜！

10。爷爷拉着我说：“我很好，别担心，你自己在外面注意身体，多吃点好吃的……” 明明在饭桌上，我只看到一小盘咸菜孤独的摆着，眼前顿时模糊一片，那天是他 80 岁 的生日啊~~~

11。爸爸一次重病，在床上躺了大半个月都没醒，后来在一个下午突然醒了。
　　醒来时他嘴一直在动，妈妈把耳朵凑近了对他说：“你慢点说，我听着呢。”
　　爸很虚弱地说：“女儿该放学回家了，你去把饭做了吧

12。高三那年，外婆问我想考哪里
　　我说当然是北京
　　外婆说就考本地嘛 离得近
　　我就笑着哈拉过去
　　高考前一个月，外婆去世了，选择都没留给我
　　外婆去世第二天，家里上上下下忙着张罗各种事
　　大人都在楼下搭着的灵堂忙
　　我到楼上找外公
　　外公一个人坐在藤椅上
　　看到我来了，强挤出笑脸说：“孙女，怎么办哟，以后咱家订的牛奶也没人喝了?”
　　我背过身去大哭

13。大年三十晚上，因为在外地加班不能回家过年，虽然爸爸知道我不回去
　　但他还是一个人冒着刺骨寒风到人烟稀少的小车站一直一直的等，妈妈叫他回来
　　可爸却说：“万一她是骗我们的呢，万一她晚上就回来了呢。”
　　后来听到妈妈给我说这件事的时候，我心里面就像被锤子狠狠的砸着那么难受。

14。大学后的第一个寒假，妈开始学习发短信。我是个没耐性的人，本来几句话的东西，却嫌她手脚太笨，便没耐心教下去了。晚饭后，妈和老爸在房间里看电视，我在练听力，那时候还用复读机，恍惚间感觉有东西干扰，手机进条短信，只有5个字，妈妈问：儿，你在干嘛？

15。小时候爸爸喂我药，我呛到了，妈妈就把他骂出去了。后来妈妈问姐姐爸爸哪去了，姐姐说爸爸在外面哭。

亲情，朴素的让人会忽略，但是却最能感动所有人，朋友我们有时间多多陪伴一下自己的亲人！


～～后语～～
随着自己愈长大，看着父母亲脸庞从年轻变憔悴，头发从乌丝变白发，动作从迅捷变缓慢，多心疼！
父母亲总是将最好、最宝贵的留给我们，像蜡烛不停的燃烧自己，照亮孩子！而我们呢？有没有腾出一个空间给我的父母，或者只是在当我需要停泊岸时，才会想起他们……

其实父母亲要的真的不多，只是一句随意的问候「爸、妈，你们今天好吗？」随意买的宵夜，煮一顿再普通不过的晚餐，睡前帮他们盖盖被子，天冷帮他们添衣服、戴手套....都能让他们高兴温馨很久。有时，我常在想：我希望我的子女以后如何对我。那现在，我有没有如此对待我的父母？我相信，人是环环相扣的；现在，你如何对待你的父母；以后，你的子女就如何待你。

朋友，人世间最难报的就是父母恩，愿我们都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以感恩之心孝顺父母！

生命不要求我们成为最好的，只要求我们作最大的努力！


养老院墙上发现的一篇文章：

孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想……极可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。

孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出来的问题吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！

孩子，现在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心头。

孩子！如今，我的脚站也站不稳，走也走不动。所以，请你紧紧的握着我的手，陪着我，慢慢的。就像当年一样，我带着你一步一步地走。

朋友，如果你觉得好就转发，让更多的人更加珍惜自己的父母。百善孝为先，尽孝须及时！

It's not ur face, it's ur heart, mind and soul that's important.

9 July 2012- Morning

今天是9 jul 2012. Ytd night, or rather this morning, is the first time that I dreamt of my dad since that dream.. That dream that completely changed my life, and caused me to carry my guilt for life, and/or beyond.. I dreamt that daddy was eating a meal with us, as a whole family.. I was so happie that I cried in my sleep.. semiconscious, with tears in my eyes..  Thank God, thank you so much for giving me this reunion meal.. Even thou we didn't really eat, I recall that all of us were seated in this round table, and daddy was seated on my left hand side. All of us are grown up, as per current's look, and mum looks as now. But daddy looks young, just like the looks in the photos, in that brown shirt, with the brown 喇叭裤。And with thick hair, and brown skin.. Heaven is really for real, pple do not age in heaven.  God, thanks for granting this wish to me, thank you for knowing that I always want the family to sit down tog to have a meal. Thanks for letting my unknown wish come true.. I love u..

thanks Sandy

Thanks, Sandy

第三次与他去看 Sandy的concert 了。 
这次，是个好棒的concert。Sandy was amazing!
Thanks for letting me fall in love with ur child like image during ur 伤痕album. Ur songs are simply touching, the way you sing is simply captivating, and ur stamina, amazing. 真是一个很棒很棒的concert..
From the beginning where you rocked us thru, to the part I love most when you sang 词不达意and danced with the dancer, it's really beautiful, very artistic, very, very powerful, yet fragile and beautiful. 好几次，差点被你弄哭，luckily the movement between ur songs were rapid enough to divert my attention.  And of cos, it was so pretty when the bubbles were in the air..
And you know what, I kept telling myself that Tze Vin doesn't means anything other than a friend, and I think I can quite keep to this! Even now, thou I really wana blog down tonite's memories of him, but I've decided that i want to write to remember the concert more than of him. I will con't to work hard to keep him out of my mind.  And my fave performance, 词不达意, is actually abt a ger liking someone and wants to find a way to communicate with him to tell him that she likes him, sorta describes the situation I am in. But I'll work hard, we will always be 2 parallel lines only. 
所以，今晚，除了记下当他看到我拿不到confetti 之后而帮我从地上捡了起来给我，and it's now safely tucked in the Sistic envelope and lying in my drawer now, there's nth else That i wana pen down and indulge myself in.
And one more thing, he mentioned this when we were leaving, 下次来我们要再park在这里。will there be a next time? Let time tell bah..
Dear Father God.. Thank you for creating such a beautiful nite for me.. Pls bless Tze Vin and help him find a job that he wants, will enjoy and is happy about. May his career path be successful, and happiness to surround him and his family always! 

谢谢你五月天

For reminding me to stay real
For releasing the inner rock core in me
For forgetting all my worries and unhappiness
For singing and shirking for the whole nite
For giving this 2 beautiful sight - during 倔强 with those rainbow placards, and 知足 with those flashlite stars, 真的好touching
For singing my face song- 倔强
For Touching me with that beautiful clip
For inserting those 2 lines of Yellow Submarine! That's one of my fave Beatles song.
Thanks Mayday, thanks for helping me to find back my heart, for reminding me to find back my courage to face myself, for writing so many inspiring songs, for giving me hope.

Haha.. Eventhough, this is the first time I've ever paid $230 for a concert tic where I'm seated so far away, every cent is totally worth it.
Every moment touched me deeply..
So as I was counting with Shihui initially, I've been to
1) The free concert held beside Indoor Stadium- Feb 2009
2) The concert in Indoor stadium- Aug 2009
3) The concert in National Sadium- Apr 2010
4) Today's concert- Feb 2012

I'm so looking forward to our next concert, and I'm sure, I'll report to all ur concerts as long as we're still alive. Thanks!

Thank you God..
Thanks for letting TV have a good weekend, that he's Happie..
Thanks for sending Mr Soo to cross my path and helped me to let go of Mr Sim. Thanks for letting Mr Soo be attached such that I don't even have to 猜疑if the chemistry I felt is one or 2 way.
Thanks for helping me to identify the person that I wana be in TV's presence. I need to hold on to that persona when I'm w TV. As 38 say, who gave me the 小鹿乱撞feeling? And thus I know..
Thanks for letting me have such a wonderful and fulfilling weekend.
As I was telling 38, this has been an exceptionally good year for me.. Career, family and friends are all turning out good. Made the decision to craft the career I really want, my Sis and bro are finally on speaking terms after my grandma death, looking forward to finding a new house for us soon. R/s with my SACYS are good, r/s with all other friends are stronger, and I continually receive affirmation from friends that I've been a good friend! I've removed most of the toxic relations in my heart and have made a decision to become someone who is Happie, gracious, serious and focus with my work , and playful and naughty for everything else. I love it when 38 told me she can feel that I'm at peace with myself, and how Mr Soo laughed at me when he said that I can even look Happie while checking my HP. And I'm really glad that I can tell 38 and Mr Soo that I'm very Happie with my life now.. I've let go of pinning for Mr Sim, and just wish for his happiness daily. I'm really grateful for all these things that have happened to me, and i know that it's You, God, who gave all these happiness to me! =)
Pls look after TV and bless him w a wonderful week..

Counting my Blessings~

They say a person needs just these things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

I've found the person I love, I'm back doing the career i enjoy, and I'm hoping that that the person I love will love me back and my career will take off from here..

Dunno why, after going out with Xingyan ytd nite, was so happie that I couldn't sleep for the entire nite. Primarily, i think it's cos i gotta a chance to relieve whatever I did at Vietnam and thereafter to XY and feel the the emotions that I have towards Mr Sim. =) So spent the entire nite thinking about him and all the blessings I have..

Let me count my blessings..

Someone to love....

Matter of the heart..
I'm blessed that I have found someone that I want to give my heart to. Blessed, cos whenever I'm down, for eg in the past 2 weeks while I were sick, I'll just look at the photos and i'll be filled with a warm fuzzy feeling and I'll automatically smile. Blessed, cos eventhou he doesn't like me, at the very least, I found him.

Friends
Realised I'm blessed with alot of friends. Alot of pple who care about me.
Cailing, my best friend. Someone whom we care deeply for each other despite not having much time for each other. Someone I know who will set time aside every other blue moon so that we can spend some time together. Someone who holds me close to her heart when she has so many friends and obligations demanding her attention.
Shijia, my dearest friend.. the one whom i can count on to settle everything for me. The one whom i can trust my life with. The one who owe me tons of things in her past life. Yiling and Shihui.. my other 2 SACYS.. friends who have always support me, hear me luff, see me cry.. luffed with and at me. Have to stand my emotions, have to bear with my overbearing temperment.. Pple I know who will stand by and with me even when the whole world goes against me.

Besides my SACYS.. there's my dearest Lorraine jiejie.. whom always let me 撒娇at her, whom always have me in her heart, whom always treat me as a 小妹妹。。 there's also Xingyan, someone who treats me as her close friend, someone whom always jio me out and let me feel that she enjoys my company. And my dear 38 (yup, you =)) I'm truely blessed and amazed, eventhou we spend 3 months knowing each other, and lost touch with each other for more than 10 years, we can pick up from where we parted and i know you really care for me! =) Thanks for all your encouragement for the past few weeks. I miss and love you! Minghui, thanks for being my alter ego.. we're exactly the same, our fave subjects are always ourselves and the guys in our lives.. haha.. thanks for taking me as a friend.. My primary school friend gejun, thou sometimes, 真的不是很谈的来，but I'm blessed that you've taught me much about grooming, and always having me in ur heart to treat me for meals and wantng to recommend guys and high net worth clients to me. My dear little Jan, thanks for being the first angel in my career, for referring so many clients to me, for having so much faith in me when I first started this career. Thanks for being the 妹妹that I've never have.. =) Oh yah.. and AKY and GCW.. thanks for being my best guy friends.. for always conscientiously recommending clients to me, for ur encouragement and friendship.

还有i'm so grateful to this group of colleagues I made here.. My dear Ms Tan, the person who made me open up totally and feel so at ease with. the one i can chat 天南地北 with. thanks for the wonderful friendship you've gave me.. and of cos, pple like derrick, jess, irene, sharon, coco and dom.. thanks for giving me this circle of friend.. this clique that I belongs to at work. and HL, for always telling me that I'm his role model, GS, for giving me this affirmation that I've been a good boss.. It really means alot to me.. and of cos.. Jodie.. thanks for msging me on an almost daily basis asking me how my day was.. sharing with me ur case studies etc.. althou i don't enjoy the attention, but i'm grateful that i pass thru ur thots almost on a daily basis.. of cos, my dear 老板.. eventhou i know we have different allience, i'm grateful for your effort in bringing me up in my career.. eventhou you dunno it, you'll be the person i'll ask to stand in as my father to give me away should I ever get married in a church.

I'm blessed in terms of my career. Sometimes, i'll think back, if I've stayed in banking, i should be similar to Janice, minghui and cailing bah.. earning 4k plus, 3-4 months bonus and the other std benefits, without much worrying about how to ensure my survival in the next few months.. however, just the thots of living my life day in and out doing the same things, all the way until i'm 30, 35, 40, 45 till 60..make me scared. I dunno why, i think it's scary.. we spend the bulk of our time at work.. if we dun do something we enjoy, then i think it's a huge waste of time.
I'm grateful that I've been able to survive in this career so far. And exceptionally thankful that I've got this group of clients who trust me explicitly and will seek my guidence in other matter of their lives. I'm thankful that my clients do listen to me and feels that I've helped them with their lives. I'm thankful that I've been there for them to figure out their lives better. I'm really privileged to be a part of their lives! =)

My family..eventhou i'm in a semi cold war with my mum now.. I'm grateful that she's putting in so much effort to appease me, to serve me, to look after me as thou i'm a princess. I know i'm being very bad.. but somehow as of now, i feel rather 叛逆。。 I'm grateful that after my grandma's death, i finally force my brother and sister to break the 心结 they have for so many years.. I truely yearn for the day that the 3 of us will be as close as we were when we were growing up.


Something to do

Moving forward, what's my plan?

My Career..
since I've stepped back to being a FC again, i've got all the time in the world to build back my client base. I should be grateful that I've absorbed Andrew's clients as well despite having to give him a huge cut of my income. But I will never earn this income if he doesn't gives this group of clients to me in the first place.
I want to become the legendary hardworking FC that I used to be.. Doing my fave activity calling.. Meeting up with pple, sharing my belief with them and helping them to plan for the future. Earning a good income along the way and gaining the respect of my fellow colleagues. I want to go back to having 50 appts ahead of me, 8 appts and 1 FNA per day. I want to become the FC i used to be in the past.
I want to be a FC with integrity, to call all my clients that I've neglected along the way and remind them on what they have and how far they are away from whom they want to become. i want to complete my CFP and become a real Certified Financial Planner. I want to help my clients to specialise in their retirement planning. I want to reach out to families and help them to take care of their blindspot. I want my clients to be in the know of what their portfolio is about. I want to set up a succession plan for my clients in the event of my untimely demise. I want them to be well taken care of.
I will start calling all my clients in march and fix appts to meet them in Apr, May and June. I will finish my testimonial handbook by March for them to pen their testimonial on working with me and ask them for referrals. I will have to add in meeting up with Andrew's clients and all the pple who are in my pending list.
I will start my CFP lesson in late May and take the paper in July. Hope that I will have my CFP by Sept. =)
I want to start my telemarketing project, to get telemarketeers to fix appts for me for Eldershield.
I want to do up the motor insurance phamplet for the students to distribute and to set up a unit to specialise in motor insurance.
I want to work on the Moneytree project with Ms Tan and Ms Tan to kickstart financial literacy education in schools.

My personal development..
My targeted weight.. 45KG.. by the end of the year.
I was 67 when i went to VN.. Thanks God for planning this series of events for me to go VN such that I got use to eating lesser there and become determined to slim down.
Hovering at the edge of 61-60 now.. and I really wana hit at least 55kg when I see Mr Sim in May.. then it's 50kg by aug and finally 43-45kg by end of the year..
I'm starting gym tmr and I really want to start a routine of going gym from here onwards.
I'm just went for facial today, and is going to go for it on a monthly basis to tune my skin beter. I'm still continuing with the Skin Food Peppermint Mask and am toying with the idea of going for Carbon peel to minimise my pores.. still thinking thru.. not too sure.. hmm..
My aim is that I'll look better and is thinner when I see Mr Sim in May.. So that hopefully, i can fit nearer into the type of lady he likes.. I should be going Macau in May to help him buy the fake longchamp bag for his mum too. =) Hopes he will likes it.
I'm also following the one year bible plan on iphone now.. finally getting started on knowing how to read the bible.. I wana continue with it and be able to finish reading the bible when the year ends. =)


Something to hope for..

My career plans and my physical transformation are my only focus this year.
I hope that I'll achieve whatever i've stated here when this year ends.
Most importantly, i really pray and hope that, now that Mr Sim knows that I like him, will take a look at this blog one day and realised that there's this lady here who likes him so much, and is so grateful to have known him. and hopefully, one day, he will be touched and will see this lady more than a friend.. That's my biggest wish. I know many friends have scolded me and say that i shouldn't change for a person. I also subscribed to the thinking that one should never change for another person. Mr Sim is the motivation for my change.. I'm the ultimate beneficiary of all my actions. Also, i'm facing 30 next year... for some reason, after coming back from VN, i suddenly realised that who and what I am now is the results of all my actions in the past 28 years of my life.. And therefore, my actions will determines who and what I will become from 30-60 onwards.. I want to see myself as a happy, healthy, pretty, slim, popular and successful FC and friend from 30 and beyond.. Thus, i need to set my foundation from my 29-30 period.. all that I'm doing now will set the direction of what I will do from this moment onwards.. and I'm determined to become someone who is grateful for all that God has bless me with, someone with loyalty and kindness in her heart, someone who glows and radiates happiness from within, someone who has lotsa love in her heart..someone whose heart will always belongs to Mr Sim..

Jan 16

First day of my new life as a FC again..
How does it feels like?
Liberated? happy? scared? I've got no idea..
Cos was too looking forward to having my own 24 hours..
It will still take some time to take use to not checking my watch and hp for the time.. cos knowing that no one in this world is expecting me at all..
No one... mebbe except for Mr Sim.. will know whether if I'm dead or alive in the coming 10 days.. It feels great!
Mr Sim's apartment looks good, really envy him for staying there.. and here i am, thinking where i need to go when it's only 10.30 in the morning...

So what happened ytd?
after seeing him at the airport, he brought me back to his place and we nua there for about 2 hours before he brought me around to explore the place..
i'm so proud of myself.. having figured out how to navigate my way around his place..
and thereafter, when we reached his place and the security guard was asking him if i'm his gf/ wife, all he replied was friend... yup.. i'm nothing more but a friend to him... he'll always be a very precious friend to me..

been thinking about this recently.. Never marry the one you can live with, marry the one you cannot live without.. I'm not sure if i can live with him..
can I live without him? I know he's impt enoff to me that I have not been considering annione else for the past few years.. everytime someone comes close, i'll start displaying his pictures or claims that I'm attached.. (which is the truth cos i'm really emotionally attached to him very much..) but still, i do not dare let him know about it and dun wish to move on.. stuck in this limbo for the past 3 plus years.. i'm crazy le...so can I live without him? i know i will still remain alive should he, one day, be no longer on earth.. I'm not sure if i will open up on my BGR part if this happens, or will i 守活寡 from then on until he becomes a distant memory..

Dear Tze Vin,
I only know that you are very very very important to me.. I am very thankful for the day that you stepped into my life.. I can still remember the day that i first saw you. I really hope that one day, i can become someone who's part of your life. you're the best thing that've ever happen to me..

Dear God..
I pray that this feeling will be reciprocate one day.

Rat's Last Day

Thursday, February 28, 2008

11:23 AM lyesi Hi Ram san..
11:23 AM nagarra Hey Sindy
11:23 AM nagarra where were you ?
11:23 AM lyesi my mind align and email access were cut off.
11:23 AM nagarra oh
11:23 AM lyesi wana let u knwo that today's my last day here..
11:23 AM lyesi HR is really efficient.. haha..
11:24 AM nagarra oh...dear !!!!
11:24 AM nagarra ultimately you got what you wanted
11:24 AM lyesi yup, i'm going for it.. to give it a try..
11:24 AM lyesi while i'm still young and w/o much committement
11:24 AM lyesi but i'm scared!
11:25 AM nagarra dont worry all happens for the good
11:25 AM lyesi hope so..
11:25 AM nagarra just dont think about results right now
11:25 AM lyesi i'll bear this in mind..
11:26 AM nagarra just give your best short in everything you do
11:26 AM lyesi so when can we see ur pretty bride photos?
11:26 AM nagarra shot
11:26 AM lyesi that's ur famous quote!
11:26 AM nagarra you will 100 % succeed
11:26 AM lyesi i'l remember it.. always do things so that no one have anything to say..
11:26 AM nagarra I will fwd it to your personal ID
11:26 AM lyesi thanks alot!
11:26 AM lyesi okayokay.. i'm really looking forward to it!
11:27 AM nagarra dont worry worry Sindy
11:27 AM nagarra :)
11:27 AM lyesi haha
11:27 AM lyesi how abt u?
11:27 AM nagarra I am going for a meeting now will be back in a while
11:27 AM lyesi what's ur plan after ur marriage?
11:27 AM lyesi sure sure..
12:19 PM nagarra hello Sindy
2:54 PM lyesi hey ram san.. sorry i went out for a very long lunch..
2:54 PM nagarra thats fine Sindy
2:54 PM nagarra dont be sorry
2:54 PM lyesi haha..
2:55 PM lyesi my current mentor just treated me out for a very good lunch =)
2:55 PM lyesi u had ur lunch alr?
2:55 PM nagarra oh.. great
2:56 PM nagarra its just 12:30 here normally I go around 2:30 - 3:00 PM
2:58 PM lyesi oic..
2:58 PM lyesi but i see u online very early daily
2:59 PM nagarra I wil be in around 6:30 Indian time
2:59 PM lyesi that's very early
2:59 PM nagarra I am supervising the team here
2:59 PM lyesi that's good!
2:59 PM nagarra cross training Sunil on Depot recs
2:59 PM nagarra so I am in office early
3:00 PM nagarra once he is comfortable and confident of taking on his own will come little late
3:01 PM lyesi i thot mani can do depot recs?
3:01 PM nagarra he can do it but there are plans of moving him out
3:01 PM nagarra nothing is fully decided yet and he has not been informed as well
3:01 PM lyesi oic..
3:02 PM lyesi there's another team also?
3:06 PM nagarra there is but thats London
3:13 PM lyesi ok..
3:13 PM lyesi i'm very free now, nothing to do at all..
3:19 PM nagarra oh..ok
3:19 PM nagarra Ram as always :)
3:20 PM lyesi is busy..
3:20 PM lyesi i know that..
3:20 PM lyesi hey.. i was asking u, what's ur plan after ur marriage?
3:21 PM nagarra plan is to stay with my wife and enjoy married life
3:21 PM lyesi that's a good plan..=)
3:22 PM nagarra I wont plan too much because if things doesnt go as we plan it hurts a little
3:22 PM lyesi so u both won't be staying in the campus anymore?
3:22 PM nagarra which campus ?
3:22 PM nagarra infosys campus ?
3:23 PM lyesi i thot all of u stay in the infosys campus?
3:23 PM lyesi i think that's what someone mentioned before
3:23 PM nagarra we stay only when we are working
3:23 PM lyesi u mean mon-fri?
3:23 PM nagarra no it was a BCP plan during TLM outage
3:24 PM nagarra we dont stay in Infosys campus at all unless there is a issue which requires our coverage 24 hrs
3:24 PM nagarra :)
3:25 PM lyesi oh.. so that means u guys have ur own place at bangalore?
3:25 PM lyesi ahh.. okay..
3:25 PM lyesi i always thot all of u stay at the campus.. so it's similar to like at sg, where u have to travel to work?
3:26 PM nagarra yes dear
3:26 PM lyesi okay okay.. hee...
3:27 PM lyesi i initially thot it was like being in university like that
3:27 PM lyesi so do u stay on ur own?
3:27 PM lyesi or with sudhir they all?
3:36 PM nagarra I am staying on my own with my other colleagues not with Suhdir
3:36 PM nagarra looking for a house for me and my would be wife now
3:38 PM lyesi that's so good..
3:39 PM nagarra in a way thats good but Bang is as costly as Singapore is
3:41 PM lyesi is it?
3:41 PM lyesi that's costly
3:41 PM nagarra yes
3:41 PM lyesi bang is part of India rite?
3:41 PM nagarra one would be spending major portion of his salray on rent :(
3:42 PM lyesi oh.. so will u be buying or renting a hse?
3:42 PM lyesi i think buying is better rite?
3:45 PM nagarra buying at this young age of mine is little tough
3:46 PM nagarra so i am renting it for the time being
3:46 PM lyesi but u'll reap the rewards in the future..
3:46 PM nagarra Bang is part of India
3:46 PM lyesi okay
3:46 PM nagarra its a capital of Karnataka State
3:46 PM lyesi bang is one the more flourish city in india?
3:58 PM nagarra yeshhhhhhhhhh
4:00 PM lyesi hmm.. that's good for investment..
4:00 PM lyesi so will u be returning to ur hometown for the ceromony?
4:00 PM lyesi haha.. i'm asking alot of Q..
4:11 PM nagarra yes I will be going to my home town
6:07 PM Lye, Sindy hey ram san.. sorry.. i was like u just now.. busy... teaching the new ger..
6:07 PM Lye, Sindy anyway wana say take care to u before u leave for the day..
6:07 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna hey its ok dear
6:07 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I can understand
6:07 PM Lye, Sindy i just went down to say my bye bye to the rest just now.
6:07 PM Lye, Sindy i know..
6:07 PM Lye, Sindy haha..
6:08 PM Lye, Sindy so take good care and wish u all the best and have a wonderful and blissful marriage..
6:08 PM Lye, Sindy and stay loving forever!
6:09 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna :) sure dear. you too take good care of yourselves and give your best in everything you do
6:09 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna dont you worry much abt the results. I am sure you will succeed in everything you do
6:10 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna keep in touch
6:10 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna hope you have my mail ID
6:22 PM Lye, Sindy i have i have.. in my yahoo..
6:22 PM Lye, Sindy u have mine too rite
6:22 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yesssssssss
6:22 PM Lye, Sindy rem to send the pretty wedding photos over!

Sign that one is too bored at work..

when all the posts that i wrote are posted in the middle of the day when i'm supposed to be working.. hahaa..
another good news.. my current mentor just walked over n tou tou mou mou de pass an Ang Bao to me! haha.. veri touch, cos i'm so new and there are so many pple here who likes her.. haha.. but i managed to won her heart with my working style and hehe my personality..hahahahahaa.....

Good news on v day!

12:03 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna Hey Sindy
12:03 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna how are you ?
12:03 PM Lye, Sindy Hi Ram
12:03 PM Lye, Sindy i'm good..
12:03 PM Lye, Sindy how abt u?
12:03 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I am doing fine dear
12:03 PM Lye, Sindy that's good!
12:03 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I got engaged on last Sunday
12:03 PM Lye, Sindy realli?
12:03 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna :)
12:03 PM Lye, Sindy Congratulations!!!
12:03 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes
12:04 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna thank you
12:04 PM Lye, Sindy was it an arranged marriage?
12:04 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes it is
12:04 PM Lye, Sindy I'm so happy for u and ur bride!
12:04 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna ha ha
12:04 PM Lye, Sindy she's really lucky too!
12:05 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna hmmmm I dont know how lucky she is
12:05 PM Lye, Sindy she is she is!
12:05 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna but lucky for sure
12:05 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna she is really nice
12:06 PM Lye, Sindy u've already meet up with her?
12:06 PM Lye, Sindy Is she pretty?
12:07 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes
12:07 PM Lye, Sindy aww...that's a good fit!
12:07 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I will fwd you our engagement snaps another day
12:08 PM Lye, Sindy yup.. i really wana see it!
12:08 PM Lye, Sindy so when's the big day?
12:09 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna might in a month or two
12:09 PM Lye, Sindy okie.. i'm going for a short mting.. spk to u later =)
12:09 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna sure
1:21 PM Lye, Sindy hey ram san .. i'm back!
1:21 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna great
1:21 PM Lye, Sindy so are u excited?
1:23 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yeshhhhhhhhhh
1:24 PM Lye, Sindy what does ur wife work as?
1:24 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna she is working for UBS _ IPB Recon team
1:29 PM Lye, Sindy oic
1:29 PM Lye, Sindy same copany
1:29 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes
1:29 PM Lye, Sindy that's good.. so u'll still be staying in the infosys campus after marriage?
1:29 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I got to know her in the month of Nov and engaged in Feb
1:29 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna :)
1:29 PM Lye, Sindy that's fast..
1:29 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna not sure
1:30 PM Lye, Sindy that means it wasn't an arranged marriage after all rite?
1:31 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I saw her spoke to my parents
1:31 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna they got our horoscope checkd
1:32 PM Lye, Sindy oh.. okay.. that's interesting..
1:32 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna it was matching nicely so decided to fix it
1:32 PM Lye, Sindy u mean the horoscope plays a part in deciding too?
1:32 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna thats all
1:32 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes if it was a love marriage there was no need of checking horoscope, what say ?
1:33 PM Lye, Sindy it is ah... u meet her first before deciding
1:33 PM Lye, Sindy so that's a love marriage
1:33 PM Lye, Sindy haha
1:33 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna but not fully love
1:34 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna it was more dependednt on horoscope than anything else
1:34 PM Lye, Sindy love will definately blossom..
1:34 PM Lye, Sindy as long as u dun spend so much time with ur tlm and storm... hahaa..
1:35 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yeah she has started scholding me already
1:35 PM Lye, Sindy yah.. that's good.. u must listen to her! all girls love to be pampered
1:36 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna mmmm but poor guys have no other way
1:36 PM Lye, Sindy dun worry... i'm sure she'll love u as much too..
1:36 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes thats true
1:36 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna infact she loves more than I do
1:37 PM Lye, Sindy haha.. now u got ur career and family settled.. i'm sure u will do veri veri well for the future!
1:37 PM Lye, Sindy that's good..
1:37 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna :)
1:37 PM Lye, Sindy do u prefer to be someone u love or someone who loves u?
1:37 PM Lye, Sindy if u prefer to be love, then it's suitable for u!
1:37 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna I prefered to be someone who loves me
1:38 PM Lye, Sindy there u have it.. match in heaven
1:39 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna :)
1:39 PM Lye, Sindy i really envy u =)
1:39 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna mmm ehy dear /
1:39 PM Lye, Sindy haha..
1:40 PM Lye, Sindy we're both same age, but I haven't found my career path nor someone that i like..
1:40 PM Lye, Sindy but i will work hard!
2:07 PM Lye, Sindy Ram san.. bz again?
2:07 PM Lye, Sindy I wana tell u, i've tendered already..
2:07 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna yes dear
2:07 PM Lye, Sindy 2 wks back
2:08 PM Lye, Sindy my last day is on feb last wk..
2:08 PM Lye, Sindy okok.. i dun disturb u anymore..
2:08 PM Lye, Sindy :P
2:08 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna is it ?
2:08 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna did you speak to Beebee ?
2:08 PM Lye, Sindy I wanted to, but she was very bz that period as she was going back to Malaysia for Chinese New year..
2:08 PM Lye, Sindy so i thot thru, and decided!
2:08 PM Lye, Sindy =)
2:09 PM Lye, Sindy ops is really not my cup of tea
2:09 PM Lye, Sindy esp right now at this post
2:09 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna good dont worry
2:09 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna all happens for good
2:10 PM Lye, Sindy i'm not worried.. i'm more scare.. haha.. i'm becoming a self employed, have to make cold calls to people and offer financial advice
2:10 PM Lye, Sindy yes.. i truely belive in that
2:10 PM Nagar, Ramakrishna coool
2:10 PM Lye, Sindy hehee..
============
Very very very happy for this mentor and friend! He's really a very very good man and catch, cos he's such a super hardworking, clever, and responsible person. I'll definately crush him if he's a Chinese.. but luckily he isn't.. haha.. btw, he's a Leo too.. in fact on 2nd Aug, same day as my first bf.. haha.. there u see.. i'm so attracted to Leo guys one..
Wishing my dear Ram San all the best and stay loving forever..!

一个美丽的星期五

Really wana jot down this memory. for every reason. little after shocks of happiness still tingling down my spine, bursting into mysterious smile every now and then still..
Haha. well, must remind myself not to 得意忘形，not to 想太多，and definately not to 不知脸耻to 以为 that the feeling is recipocrated. Cos he'll never like me one. He had subtlely hinted numerous times that he doesn't like me. To him, i'm nothing more than an accquiatance, and he's nice to all pple, including me, is just his character. In fact, if he likes a person, he'll say all sorts of unnice thing abt the person so that everyone will think that he doesn't likes her. Somemore, he's the daring type, he'll really date the person out, send flowers over etc to chase the girl if he likes her. This guy even doesn't bother replying my msg.. .. how would it be possible for him to have like me even? His choice of girls are always the prime breeds. The extremely beautiful, graceful, rich and attractive women.
our families status are world apart too. this guy lives in a mio+ landed property. his personal income and mthly family income most likely exceeds my half yr's one.
his family is close knitted and somewhat snobbish, including himself. How could he possibly accept my dysfuntional extended family? Haha.. it'll be like 道明寺 meets 杉菜's family.. 想了都恶心。。
but 无论如何，i'm grateful, grateful and contended that he asked us out for ktv.. happy that i had him all by myself for that close to half hour, where we were seated so intimately while waiting for the table. Grateful that he helped me to get the pasta onto my plate.. and very grateful that he helped me before DQ.. Grateful that he agreed to sing 许愿 with me, where we moved in sync with each other to the rhythmn. Grateful that cos of my little request to want to be seated more comfortably, he traded his seat and ended up seated next to me, such that we started those childish whispering gossip with each other, such that we started passing the mic to each other so that I could linger my fingers on his hands longer than neccessary. Grateful that he sang 木讷 after my numerous requests，the song that I love to hear him sing. Grateful that he asked me to sing 这么办， so that I can start fantasising that he has hidden meanings in asking me to sing it, even thou i know that he plainly wana see Hebe only. Grateful that he asked me if I've brought water along, letting me know that he still remembered that I need alot of water when I go K, haha.. I guess it's not hard to forget it when he lugged 2 evians for me that previous time. Grateful that 大人 imm followed with a TV, 你去换这个发形when I said I like that MTV guy's hair, so that I've got a chance to 胡乱想像 and touch his hair。Grateful that he called my name and told me that we'll be going there tog with the rest. Grateful that I decided to wear high heels, so that I can see him just rightly when I tilt my head up. Grateful that he said 你讲的这么甜，他不说ok 才怪，when I called party world to postpone the reservation by an hour. Grateful that he asked me what other songs do I wana sing, and I look at him and said that I'm already very satisfied and contended today. I followed up by saying that it's cos i've not been to K for a very long time, and i'm glad to come today. Actually, it's not that.. the reason why I'm satisfied and contended is not cos i'm singing, it's simply cos he was seated by my side, and that's all I need.
before friday, I kept doubting this recent surge of feeling towards him, doubting that all I wana is company and he's the most convinent person around. After friday, i'm sure that I do not want any 专属我的手，而只是要你牵我的手。
I am very sure that he does not like me, but at least, I'll try my very best, to become a lady that he may take a look at, so that one day, I'll be able to have the courage to 向你表白。。

好想你们wor...

从前对着收音机学唱旧的歌 我问妈妈为什么伤心像快乐
妈妈笑着说她也不懂得 我想出去走一走哦 妈妈点点头
天冷你就回来别在风中徘徊 哦妈妈眼里有明白 还有一丝无奈
天冷我想回家 童年已经不在 昨天的雨点撒下来 那滋味叫作爱
呜~别在风中徘徊呜 ~天冷就回来

渐渐对着收音机学唱新的歌 我问朋友为什么做梦也快乐
朋友笑说他从不相信梦 我想出去走一走哦朋友点点头
天冷你就回来别在风中徘徊 朋友的眼里有明白 还有一份期待
天冷我想回家年少已经不在 今天的雨点撒下来 那滋味就是爱

现在对着收音机听自己唱的歌 我的他问为什么幸福不快乐
我微笑着说我也不懂得 他想出去走一走我对他点点头
天冷你就回来别在风中徘徊 我猜我眼里有明白还有一丝无奈
天冷他没回家我仍然在等待 明天的雨点撒下来 那滋味就是爱
呜~别在风中徘徊呜~天冷就回来

Within this span of 2 months, 你们两人都离开了熟悉的环境，家人(of cos 没有不熟悉的家人) 与朋友，各自为了将来，为了不要留白而出了这趟远门。 Seriously, 真的很不舍得你们。But 当然要明白天下无不散的宴席。Especially since 明年的这个时候，我们也已经团圆了。在这里的我，真的好害怕，因为已经没什么人好陪我了。But I believe everything is planned, and that we’ll just have to do our best and things will work out fine. So I’ll 好好的在新加坡赚钱，找方向，以及尽我能力来让你们不需担心在这里的任何人。我也一定会try my best to visit ur parents and dun make a mess out of it this time round.. 我真的认为，我们的友谊以迈向亲人一般的亲了，因为在我的眼里，除了期待，还有无奈，担心与想念。
所以，在外时，希望你们能够记得这首歌，若遇到任何让你感到不开心的人或事，若有任何人要belittle you, just remember there’s someone here who will fly over as soon as you need someone there okie? Life is tough outside, but really, on hindsight, they will become a triumph, happy memories when we're really old.. so whatever happens now is now, as long as we dun let it affects our future, it will never be a bad thing, but an opportunity, an experience to help us grow okie?

在 Australia 那位。。千万不要因为赌气 (和最近，迁就别人erm..或鸟类)而亏待自己。 and must remember to self control…
在台湾那位，记得要好好照顾自己，有时也应该将自己的利益摆在前面，千万别做个好人到亏待自己。haha.. and of cos must remember to lose control and 少些矜持。。最好是带个男人回来，then 你家就有中，港，台的亲家了。。哈哈
最重要的当然是凡是都要小心! 晚上走路 be alert，过马路要看路，也要记得将手升起来，drivers 才会看到你。。。 I miss u both.. Muacks!!

I rec Jon's Album from Jill today!!!!

Jon, finally managed to get my hands on ur first album.. i was so so so excited when i saw it! annione who stumbled onto my blog must get it!! it's made with sincerity, honesty and of cos, jon's heart n passion for good music. http://jplewismusic.com/main/main_merch_music.htm or from http://www.amazon.com/Stories-Hollywood-Jon-Peter-Lewis/dp/B000JUB39I/ref=pd_rhf_p_2/002-3396873-1413614.

ECP Oct 2006

Gan jue zhen Hao..

I was at Greece!!

Went ECP on Oct 28.. went cycling with mummy.. n had Katong Laksa.. the sea was gorgerous that day..

灵芝姐的last day @ 933.. 27/10/06

灵芝姐，
昨天，当我听志勇播‘红豆’，与对您说出那一番话时，我心想，也许您要准备离开933 了。但是，我绝对没猜到今天竟然是您最后的一天。
突然发现再也不能在广播中听到您的声音，真的好伤心。不知觉的在巴士站哭了, 因为也不知为什么与您一起成长的回忆都浮现在我眼前。
记得当您刚加入933时，我并不是很喜欢您。 因为觉得您太直率了，而有时也会说一些听众不爱听的话。记得在好多年前，因为等一位迟到的朋友，很少在中午时段听广播的我便开了walkman 而听到了‘音乐日记’ 。I was captivated. 我被音乐日记深深的感动了。从此之后，只要时间允许，我都会在下午2.30 听灵芝姐的音乐日记。而音乐日记就这样陪我走过了初院，大学直到我踏上社会工作。
每一次收听音乐日记，都会从中领悟一些人生道理与无奈。
记得当我在大学念书时，由于面对许多压力，经常会通过933的网页写电邮给您，虽然灵芝姐从来没有回复过我的电邮, 但是，每当我将电邮寄给您时，心情总会变得好一些。
灵芝姐，您知道吗，因为您，当我从大学毕业后，原本想尝试申请成为933 的DJ。因为好想象您一样，有机会能够感动别人。但是，由于我的华语发音不标准而罢休了。在这两年来，我不断的努力恶补我的华语发音，而最近，当我有信心录制一个demo带寄去933时，您却离开了。好想告诉您，我怀着一个希望，就是若有机会能成为933 DJ的话，好想与您一起作广播阿。
灵芝姐，谢谢您在这些年来陪着我成长，虽然对您而言，您也许认为您并没做些什么，但您对我的影响力却是life changing。因为您，我在迷路的时候找到了方向，我在无助的时候找到了安慰，我在自卑的时候找到了勇气，而从音乐日记里，学会了什么是惜福。我从来没发觉到，直到今天，于您的离去，才发现您对我的影响力是多么的大的。You’re a factor who helped mould me into who I am today.
对您的感谢，我尽在不言中。谢谢您带给我的欢笑与泪水。我真的衷心祝福您，无论您会向那个方向走，may God and angels be looking after you. Take care, and I’ll be eagerly waiting for your return to 933 one day.

This is for Jon...

Dear Jon..

You have my hopes all gently hoping, you have my every affections, desires, dreams and respect.
You have whispered words that belongs to you, thoughts you have inspired and blessings that have touched the deepest of my heart.
You have all my admiration for being such an incredibly precious person.
You even have words that I have no words for.
You have my unending gratitude for the way you have brightened and changed my life, and I wish upon every prayers that, one day, I will be able to thank you for all of this...

Loving you from the deepest of my heart.. I love you...

Sindy

Wo shi zhen de Xin Fu de!!

What more can I want?

Of cos.. besides him..

n he's moved in my heart permanently..

My Angel