Think I'll chicken out again if I do not pen these down

Why I finally decide to tell you that I like you

1) I need a closure to this feeling towards you. I need to move on already. I need to open my life to more pple instead of shutting them out. I can't possibly be still in this limbo at age 30 and beyond. It's scary. But I know I cannot move on unless you're married (and it will seriously break my heart thou I've been bracing myself for it for the past few years, but will be really happy for you)

2) Received lotsa signals that I should tell you that I like you.
For eg, was watching 游龙戏凤 during CNY, and there was this part in the show where there was a game show whereby pple go onto TV to express their love towards the person they like. They featured this guy who went on to express his love towards this lady, eventhou this lady had recently passed away. And the gameshow host asked this guy, why are you expressing your love even thou this lady is dead? And the guy answered, "the lady met with an accident and died otw to the date which I wanted to tell her that I like her". So I want to express my love to her now to let her know that at least, in this world, there's someone who likes her very much.
Somehow, i feel that God arranged for me to see this part to let me muse over this. I've been thinking over this in the past few days, to tell you or not to tell you? I really dun wish to cause any unnecessary pressure to you by letting you know that I like you, and i definitely don't wish to spoil/ amend this precious relationship I hold so dear to my heart. At the same time, at the very least, i would like you to know that, in this world, there's someone who likes you very much, who's very grateful to have known you and feels that you are the most special person in this world.


3) Was reading my entire blog today and realised that I've been penning that I wana tell you that I like you before you went for your Masters. One reason was because I was scared something will happen to you there since it is a significantly more dangerous place and I'll live in regret forever , and the other was that you might find someone you like there and I'll never have a chance to let you know that I like you. Read that there were many times that I wanted to let you know, but i've always chose the easy way out. As such, it caused me to be where I am today. Stucked. Unless I address this relationship honestly, I'll still be like this 2 years from now. My excuse of my inaction at that time has always been, i do not see the need to tell him, cos all i ask for is to have to right to be able to be by his side, and for him to be happy. There's no need to let him knows that I like him if all i want is this and I can have all these via the friendship i have with him currently. Then why is there a need to tell you now? All i'm asking for is just to have the same friendship, to have the right to be by ur side whenever we meet up, and for you to be happy still. I have no answer, I only know that there's an urge, a nagging thot, something in my heart/ brain that's telling me it's time to move on. Stop this childish behavior already. Even to the extent that I might lose this friendship if things become awkward, there's a need for me to release myself from this mental web that i've entangled myself in.

4) I really wish to become part of your life. Thou I keep saying that i do not wish to change any part of our friendship, there's no denying that I hope that I will have a chance to become part of your life, to have an opportunity to be together with you. Maybe my thinking is very traditional, but I always feel that it should always be guys to take the first approach. But after so many years, the desire to become part of your life outweighs my pride and traditional thinking. A friend told me this, just check with him (you) if there's any possibility of exploring a deeper r/s. Another friend told me that I'll live to regret it when you have a gf cos this happened to her. Not telling the guy she likes that she likes him and by the time she wanted to do that, the guy was already attached. And another friend told me that i need to let you know, cos in this world, all pple fall under 3 catagories, First is "Like and take action. Second is "Don't mind but wun take action" and third is "Don't like and will reject". Eventhou I'm not under catagory 1, but there's a chance that I'm under catagory 2 and you wouldn't mind me if I tell you that I like you. Of cos, there's a good chance I'm under Cat 3 cos we've both been single for so long and i've always feel that you take me as one of the numerous friends you have and your niceness is the same towards everyone.

Thus, with all these reasons in mind, I hope I'll not chicken out again to let you know how I feel towards you.