feel that I'm really blessed. Surrounded by friends who love me. No matter how poorly i behave. No matter how irritating and selfish I can be. 真的真的好幸福。 and God just let my prayers come true! and I failed him terribly. God, I'm thankful, that you've planned this in mind. God, I'm sorry for looking away. I'lm really really sorry for failing you, and letting your efforts go to waste. I'm really sorry that I do not know how to react, and thus chose to ignore and walk ahead. If I have acknowledge his presence, at least it will create a better impression upon him. and for him to have notice me. God, I pray to you, that you'll let my prayers come true. Notice, fall, ask, ask. God, please let 2,3 and 4 eventually come true. I have this image in mind. And I really wish to give him up. I know I'm being stupid. but feelings are hard to control. My mind is in a wind, and my thots all confused. I know you love me. and I beg for a 2nd chance. Thank you God, and I love you.