felt good today

cos finally saved the cash savings that i want

finally asked yiling to do the accounts for me and to my surprised, i can actually get back 7k from sacys

in this case, adding on to my current 47k savings, i will achieve 54k!

so with that, i decided to maintain 50K cash savings in my bank account for my emergency funds and short terms needs. and moving forward, after lessing my usual expenses and for iras, work, insurances and ifast, i will deposit what ever is in excess to cpf. this will ensures that my cpf grows, and i will be able to then speed up the amount i wish to save up for buying a place.

My aim is to have 200k to pay for a house when s18 is sold. if i contribute 30k per year to cpf in the next 5 years, i would have 150k in cpf plus my cash on hand to make payment for the housing downpayment. crossing fingers now..

I will keep my cash holdings to hover aounrd 40 to 50k, and awaiting the market correction to buy 25k worth of shares.

today pain of losing yazid has lessen again.. he is more like a familiar name, a hole in my heart now. someone that i missed and still miss. someone i still associate with regret, but have gradually come to term that our path will no longer cross way. i regretted it deeply, but there's nothing that i can do

thankfully, i have a lot of things to do for the coming months to take my mind off him.

will need to plan for the vienna and extension trip. budgeting 4k for everything including shopping. Need to figure out what to wear and bring over there by 1st Sept too. will need to settle my day trips, accomodation and is still wondering, shall i just set some parameters to the trip and let jereen handle everything, or shall i put in effort to steer the trip to my liking? i've never took part in a trip where i do not have to think.. butwill it be a waste if i let them indulge in what they want?

9- wachau valley

10- bratislava

11- prague

12- fly to florence- what do i want to do? i know i want to revisit that square which i finds totally enchanting and beautiful

13- space, the outlet?

14- train to milan

15- milan

16-hsh

i'm pretty sure that i would like to buy some deeply discounted prada bags there.. but i am acutely aware that i have a lot of bags too. 3 longchamps, 1 longchamp documents bag, 1 lv, 1 prada, 2 rabeanco, 1 gucci, 1 kate spade. but i know i would like to have a sling prada, and 1 work prada and maybe 1 casual prada

but.. i hardly go out anymore.. and i'm always casually dressed nowaday.. why should i need so many bags for?

let's see how things go

after i'm back, i'll ned to spend probably 1 to 2 months to move from hougang to my sis condo.. the decluttering, the clearing of stuffs.. and meanwhile, will need to shop for furniture for the new place too. that should likely take up the bullk of my last qtr

meanwhile, will be anticipating my beautiful god daughter inoct and participating in her birth during oct while i am moving house

and come nov, i will be looking forward to doing up my eyebrow and eye liner so that i will always looks like i have makeup on, and not forgetting to continue with my brazilian ipl during this period to get rid of my unwanted hair.. thruout this period, i will continue to head to jb to continue with scalp treatment so as to ensure that my hair continues to grow healthily and i wouln't looks like I am botak by the time i reach 40.. i think i will go get my hair cut before heading over to vienna? let's see how since it's quie tidy now

i will continue to cycle and attempt to clock my 100km per week... by end of this year, i want to hit 4000km.. at 2.4k now.. let me just continue to press on.. i want to hear to vienna at 59.9kh max..

and most importantly, to continue to seek my life partner.. keyuan sked me what i want out form my partner, and i gave a very self centric answer- to find someone to love me, to put me as priority and to have someone for company.. but he opened my eye to another world, to find someone to love, to give and to share.. which i must remember..

to become a happier person, to be more selfish and to live for myself.. to let go of a lot of matters and not to hold on to the anger.. to become a happier person at office, and am grateful that i am talking to hl again. it feels so good to put down those unhappy burden and let me see thru' pple i guess.

to go out as and when i please, to take care of my mum and let her eat healthier

to let my siblings take care of my mum and remind them to call her frequently..

was talking to ziyan last week and realised she achieved all the things she set out to achieve 5 years ago..

and i remember i didn't have an answer then.. what i see myself doing in 5 years time.. i vaguely remembered, i said to grow my buisness, to let my mum be happy, to be prettier and to see my siblings being married off.. actually, come to think of it, i achieved all too..

i know i let my mum feels very happy and secure most of the time. under my care, she is so much happier, and with me talking to her daily, she has an outlet, and a listening ear to accompany her. i made her an envy amongst her friends by being around to fetch her from her mj sessions, for having a capable, successful and pretty daughter, for being around for her, for making her knows that i am always there for her, and for her to view life positively and to have things to look forward in life. i gave her hope.

i supported my brother thruoout all the decision and things he wants in his life, and i am very proud of him, and how he has evolved to be. And i believe i have contributed a huge part to how he has become now. i let him pursue the things he wants with no worry as he knows his mum is very well taken care of.

i have introduced a man to my sis who eventually became his husband, so that she is married, and have someone to grow old with, and looking forward to creating a family with a man he loves. if not for my unselfishness, she wouldn't be able to meet nicholas. though i am constantly unhappie in her presence, i defended her when mum is baised, and i look out for her and stood by her when she was really down in her life. unfortunately, when things becomes better, her usual self came back and i just find it hard to have a cordial relationship with her. but i still try to do what i can for her, and i know she knows it.

i took over irene and sharon clients, and thou i know i didn't serve 100% of their clients, i am proud to say that i did everything sincercely for everyone who is open to meeting up with me. for those that are resistent, i do ensure that i respond efficiently with integrity to assist them. i kept to my promise to return the commission they rightlyfully earned but is unable to received. i think i have doe what i can too.

for my sacys.. at this moment, i know that all the things, love, concern and help that i have put in all these years are appreciated. The fact that cailing knows that i am very down during my time with oliver and yazid, and her checking in with me every other day makes me know that i'm in her thots. all these years of accompanying her, checking in with her when she was down, being there for her and doing what i can for her are not unappreciated. and just today, after realising that there's still some funds in the sacys account, and that they didn't protest for me to draw it back instead of splitting up between all of us made me gratified. and that shijia offered to pay for my cab and yl agreeing with it in lieu of all the drives i gave them let me know that all these yeaers of heartfelt love towards them are appreciated and is in their mind.

and as for myself, at least, i think i dropped at least 6kg. it's easier for me to dress up now, and i did went ahead to do my breast reduction surgery, thereby, giving me a new lease of life which is so important to me. i'm fair, slightly smaller than previously, and is still working towards to becoming a prettier person. by end of this year, max 59.9kg, with eyebrow and eyeliner done, halfway to completing my ipl. continuing my mask routine to keep the skin hydrated, hair and scalp treatment once every 2 months, facial and haircut occasionally. no doubt all these require money, but will form part of my grooming budget. i should spend on myself too.

now, looking orward in the next 5 years, by 39 yo, i want the same thing. my mum to be happy, healthy and safe. For her to have a reason to smile everyday, and for all her wishes to come true.Fr her to live a ripe old age past 85, 90. My siblings to have their own happy family. sacys to be happy. my career to be stable and self generating. myself a pretty, well groomed, positive, happily married and hopefully a mother of 1 kid then. To have God in my heart, and to hold on to faith when i'm down. To have strong healthy relationship for pple who cares and have me in their heart, and to be grateful and accept everyday that God plans for me. I will be contented then.
Doing good and helping people, being there for my family and friends when they need me.

i may be late, but at least, i'm not giving up. i have other priorities 5 years ago, and they have now shift as i progress in life.