It's been a long time again since I last wrote here.
I've forgotten that I have wrote a post to pen down my feel towards the worsening condition between mine and shijia friendship.
But it serves as a good reminder, to behave properly when I am with her.
I have been avoiding alot of things of this one year.
Have gotten so much lazier.
My day is spent watching and rewatching running man, watching tv.
Am so disappointed with myself.
What have I become?
I am neglecting basically everything in my life.
including my mum, whom I have not smiled to for weeks.
I feel so upset with myself, yet am so reluctant to get anything started.
I also lost touch with God, and my daily and nightly prayers are so generic and non heartfelt.
I feel so alone and lonely. So unhappy.
I am facing my ipad at least 80% every hour playing games, checking fb, to pretend that i am doing something while I am hoping that time will move faster so that the day has end and I dun need to lie to myself that I have things to do.
It is so sad.
What happened?
I am now so reluctent to read, while i used to love to read and gain knowledge. Now, what I read are all tabloids and gossip and things that doesnt matter at all. My language skills, be it spoken, read, or write are miserable.
My Vocab is shrinking, and I am basically I very unhappy person.
I am losing myself badly, be it in terms of friendship, physical, family, knowledge, the ability to think, and to be on my way towards a happier me.
I lost my goals. I live day to day without knowing what to do. I console myself saying that i am still paid regardless if I am working or not.
I feel so unmotivated.
I feel that I am trapped in a box, with something evil that keeps telling me that I cannot and shouldn't do a lot of things, and that I shouldn't care about things at all.
Can I pull myself out from this viscious cycle? I am spiralling downwards and I am calling out desperately for help. but who can help me? Who sees what I am going thru' now? I always say I have lotsa friends, lotsa good fiends, but at this time, no one noticed it, cos I have been puting on a false front for so many years, that I deceived so many pple, including myself.
I need to move on.
I need to find back what I want to do.
Especially my career.
Cos without a goal in it, it is so hard to stay grounded, and to keep daily workflow moving.
But what can my goals be? MDRT? CFP has already been achieved, and it is basically nothing except a money sucking certification with no use.
My goal in my career now is to contact everyone to arrange an appointment. Actually it is that simple. But beause it is so painful, I have been procrastinating it for years. Yes, years. I am so tired of it. Sindy, there's only 6 months left.
Can you pls use these 6 months to recreate your calling patterns, a followup system for all your organic clients and takeover clients.
Can you make an effort to do it properly?
What shall I do?
Open my own client list and start calling from those that I need to follow up on.
be it in insurance or in investment. Make sure that their contacts are properly keyed into the google contacts list. It doesn't matters if they dun want to meet me. At least I have done my part. If they just plainly avoid me, I will just send a text to them.
Let's aim to do this every Sunday until you finish with the list. Is it possible? Just get started. And this includes Andrew, Jamie and Sharon Clients. Just start an excel spreadsheet call calling list. 12 tabs for each month, and to key in the pple to reach. Please, sindy lye. pls do it for your own sake. That is the only aim I have for you.
And let's clear the receipts input to expenses file.
and the outstanding case.
Please sindy, that is all.
and moving forward, life will be so much easier.
I will also be happier I think.
Make it a habit to go office every sunday, start off with a yoga session followed by calling till late noon.

Sacys.com.sg
looking back at my past posts on what I hoped to do for sacys.com.sg, I am proud to see that things are really going underway, and that there are really a lot of things to do. ON hindsight, A lot of things can be done better, but I am still glad.
Moving forward, with the website set up, with Yl and Sj taking care of the technical parts, I think it is now a matter of sourcing and coming out with more designs, and to find alternative source of suppliers. Marketing the products and moving onto regional when we are more stable. I hope to become a stable company with this venture.

I tell myself everyday that there is no reason to go office, and thus I stopped going along the year.
But can I start to reverse this lazy trend. Fion told me that one must not be lazy, and must go to the office regarless if there is or there is nothing to do.
Can I do it too? Can I just fix my off day on Friday and Saturday instead, and to be able to work from Sun to Thurs?
Sun- Yoga, following by calling/ appointments
Mon- Pilates, followed by admin/ appointments
Tues- Yoga, followed by admin/ Appointments
Wed- Morning- bring mum to gym/ swimming, stay at home to work on Sacys and work or appointments
Thurs- Yoga, followed by admin/ appointments
Fri- Morning- bring mum to gym/ swimming, stay at home to work on Sacys or appointments
Sat- rest day and focus on Sacys/ going out with mum

Can I achieve this? It looks so good.
and I dun have to keep giving myself excuses that I need to stay at home to accompany mum. Cos it is not. I am basically staying at home to watch running man, and it's not cos I enjoy it, but it is to just let me waste the time away
girl, can you do yourself this favour, and stop this lousy behavior?
And with this, i ill definitely feels better, and thus can pull myself away from this mess.

I also need to eat and slp better. have fallen into this lousy habit of eating snacks after meal.
I need to stop it.
I also need should finish that set of TR90. else it is a waste of money.
Can i just stick and finish with it asap?
I can just keep taking it until it is finished.

Can I use the TR90 to substitute my dinner and complement it with tons of fruit? can I ignore my hunger?